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Minimizing Your Achievements

Working with women for over nearly four years I see very often that they minimize their achievements. And it is so painful to observe as I was there for a long time too. Until I learned techniques to deal with it which is one of the reasons for where I’m today in my personal & professional life.

Minimizing words are those that diminish the importance or size of achievement (something learned early in childhood such as “Don’t brag or boast”)! Do you resonate? Do you feel that I’m talking about you, too?

I know for sure that by using the word “just” you minimize the importance of the recognition. You downplay success or attribute it to something other than your talent, hard work, or knowledge. In response to congratulations or compliments, unfortunately, women will often say something like: “It was really nothing special”, or “I guess I just got lucky”.
 

And when you say those phrases enough times, you will begin to believe them.
STOP NOW‼️
 

Practice saying instead “Thank you for noticing” or simply “Thank you. I’m pleased with how it turned out”. Say it again and again until it rolls off your tongue in response to a compliment. It is crucial for your development, visibility & leadership!
‼️ Avoid using phrases such as: “It was only…”, “I just …”, “I surprised myself…”

If you want to be modest (as many women want to keep it this way, but then be overlooked when a next promotion chance comes!!) try saying something like “Thank you. I am quite proud of what I achieved and must give some credit to those who helped me along the way”. By routinely apologizing you minimize your presence & downplay certainty. Stop using phrases like:
I’m sorry…
I just…
I only…
or using extra words like little, tiny, small, quick, etc.

Women also use very often discounters & disclaimers, e.g.

‘This may be beside the point…’
‘Maybe this isn’t important…’
‘You may already have heard it…’

What is your experience? Do you see yourself in one of those situations? If so, try to practice the above phrases and your chances for rising will increase for sure!

And please remember that speaking about YOUR accomplishments is assertive behaviour!
 

If you feel that you need assistance in the process of getting rid of what is standing in your way to lead from the inside out, check what I can do for you and schedule a complimentary call,  https://calendly.com/alenahielema

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